George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who

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Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...
Snake

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

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A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying...

Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...

6
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...
Doctor Who

New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt

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As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
Venus Williams

Venus Williams says most recent car insurance quote inspired her Wimbledon run

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Venus Williams has revealed that she was inspired to her Wimbledon final appearance by her most recent car insurance quote. Speaking after finishing runner up,...
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...
Collection of London souvenirs

POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit

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It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit... Some chap who won...
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

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The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

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It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...

Racial profiling proves racist police guilty of racial profiling

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Two Florida police officers have been found guilty of being racially prejudiced in a Facebook trial. The damning evidence came when it was pointed...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

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As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

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Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...

World’s oldest Andrew Neil joke discovered in cave in France

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Excavations at caves in Lascaux uncover the oldest as yet discovered Andrew Neil joke believed to date back almost 20,000 years. An excited team of...
Scientist

Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island

A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco. Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...

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