Nearly okay to kill elephants again
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.
Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
Local party member unsure whether Tory website hacked or just total bullsh*t
Following Friday's 'sustained and aggressive' cyber attack on Westminster, speculation mounts as to whether the official Conservative party website has been hacked and vandalised...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
The Shard ‘nearly finished’
The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers.
Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...
Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...
The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...
Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east".
Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power
The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...
Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage
Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...
Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer
A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each
Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
