Other News

A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known in the country. Stan Dupp, a recruiment consultant from Harrogate, was...

Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight after the newly elected despot Donald J. Trump's controversial Tweet...

Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian Blind told us, "The people have spoken. It's our will...

Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by reportedly and fictionally claiming notorious cult leader Charles Manson was...

Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”

Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong end of the stick. The mix up occurred when David, who...

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud be mooved...

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from constantly going on completely free five star holidays all the...

UKIP are in disarray today after 'accidentally' electing Eddie Hitler to lead them for a month before Nigel Farage decides he wants the job again. Ray Cyst, a firm party supporter said; "We got excited when we...

Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one hospital in Surrey with Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt hailing it...

Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past. “We look into all our allies,” said Sergi Vasilev, former KGB killer and advisor...

The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government handed over responsibility for appointing its ambassadors to Donald Trump. A...

The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being politely asked questions about his job during an interview on Radio...

Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on the kerb early to maximize social distancing. "It was the highlight...

Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major, not on the payroll of any of the major newspapers,...

Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.