Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing
Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button.
As cheers rang out across the nation it...
Fears for safety of Strictly 2016 producers as AdB meets JCC
Strictly Come Dancing returned to our screens this evening in a whirlwind of glitz and glitter. Amongst the celebrities dancing for our pleasure over...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...
FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...
Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot
With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...
White House confirms all its press staff do coke
The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke.
The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger
What’s your favourite type of monger?
Picture him:
Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...
Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously
People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year.
“It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73.
Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs
Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning.
The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year
As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration.
In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...
