Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

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Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

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The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...

Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them

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A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them. Trevor Sallis, an office...

Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses

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Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over. "We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today I can announce that we're replacing...

Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers

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In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...

Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team

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UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

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Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Gove Demands Westminster Soft Play Area

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Michael Gove MP caused elation inside Kate Hoey MP today with his demand for a soft play area at the Palace of Westminster. Gove, the...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...

ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance

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ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

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The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins,...

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