Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Ann Widdecombe suspended over Strictly sex abuse claims
Privy Councillor and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe has been suspended from the Conservative Party after shocking claims of historical abuse and inappropriate conduct...
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
BBC’s Sooty and Sweep Caught “off-air” in Soo Scandal
The ongoing horror of the BBC's handling of the Soo the Panda sexing-up scandal took another dramatic twist last night as footage emerged of...
Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Farron u-turns and joins coalition after McDonnell says he’ll let him sip his beer
"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar.
However, moments later the Liberal Democrat...
Cliff Richard is absolutely, definitely not a nonce admits BBC
Rumours are spreading that CLiff Richards, who is not a nonce, is furious today after the BBC suggested that he had racked up unreasonable...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Rochdale entrepreneur fails to set up free trade agreement with Burnley
Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley.
The...
Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners
Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying...
Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise
Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...
We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May
With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...
Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...
Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
