Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
God Ruins Bake Off
This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.
The contestants had been asked to make Fairy...
Daily Mail editor bites head off puppy for a dare
Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly...
Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies
The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Brexit voters furious at a British Court today
Brexit voters today were unsure who to be furious at today after a British Court as opposed to a European Court made a decision about the nature of British Parliamentary Sovereignty.
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under...
Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse
A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if...
5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.
The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs
This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.
New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo
"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.
Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead
News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today.
"I’ll...
Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...
As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...
This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday
Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars.
The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...
