Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England and Germany has thrown the progress of Brexit into doubt.
Gareth...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley, lead beverage researcher at the University's world famous Brew Institute,...
Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as the Divided States of America on its front page.
Known as...
Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off
Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload of money for a by-election.
“I am resigning as a Conservative...
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under the current Tory Government doing four terms of a Media...
Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”
A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.
The woman, 32 year old Helen, posted a Facebook status at 8.06am saying...
Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for Re-Referendum
Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming Labour leadership battle, local Rochdale UKIP supremo Mohammed Masud has...
Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds
In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry with an ironic twist.
Mr Shortcake demanded a Parliamentary Inquiry in...
God Ruins Bake Off
This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.
The contestants had been asked to make Fairy Cakes, Chocolate Ring Doughnuts and a large pile of French...
Blair to build fantasy superhero based theme park Blair World in central London
Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will be bank rolling a new fantasy theme park dedicated wholly...
Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential professions.
The shouty glorified cooks just scraped top place with scientists...
Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...
Pray together, lay together
Scottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations.
This year they might just have won the war on Christmas...
Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...
UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts champion Eric Bristow’s dart board.
“While Bristow’s dart board contains hundreds...
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at low tide is proving very popular with Conservative, Labour ...
Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off
Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement.
Neil interrupted Farron and said "Why should anyone listen to you? You're party...
