David Attenborough found alive and well
Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well.
The news comes as welcome relief...
Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert
52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...
An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble...
Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism
The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”).
Editor Paul Dacre...
Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book
It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...
Barrack’s is at least three times bigger than Donald’s says Melania
Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald's.
"Donald is...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time
The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time.
It is understood...
BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced
ginseng tea...
Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left
The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again;
"The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg
The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.
