Massive twat claims moral high ground
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...
Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending
The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status
The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book
The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.
As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism
Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...
Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists
The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner
There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...
Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs
Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them.
Father Frederick Seddon...
‘Child on hospital floor’ journalist joins the Rochdale Herald’s staff
The Rochdale Herald is proud to announce the appointment of surely-ex-by-now Telegraph columnist Allison Pearson to our staff.
"Our quest for people who can spout...
Satirists run out of ink
Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...
The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence.
VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins,...
1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached.
Yahoo, which was once a...
