Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network

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The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...

Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”

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A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

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The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

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There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time

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The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time. It is understood...

Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016

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There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

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Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...
Bomb Squad

Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box

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The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.  No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...
Brown Paper Bag

Sun to be sold in paper bag

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The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today. “From...
Musician

2016 maintains the Status Quo

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2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

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Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

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