Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
We’re nothing like Trump Supporters insist lone wolves
Lone wolves are said to be up in arms this afternoon after CNN compared them to Trump Supporter and Canadian mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette.
BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM
The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting.
Stan Still said,...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080
The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced.
Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour...
Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists
The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.
Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith.
The toe faced smarm slinger...
Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring
Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring.
Thunberg said, "All of my life there...
Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about
It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald
The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is...
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced
ginseng tea...
David Attenborough found alive and well
Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well.
The news comes as welcome relief...
Barrack’s is at least three times bigger than Donald’s says Melania
Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald's.
"Donald is...
