2016 maintains the Status Quo
2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt.
Having survived...
Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad
ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award.
This is the first time the sought after prize, known...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Rochdale Herald attempts to break world record for the longest newspaper headline ever ends...
All at the Herald are devastated said Doris the tea lady.
Laura Kuenssberg to train North Korean propaganda journalists
Gajja Ileum, a journalist for the Korean Worker's Party, has travelled from Pyongyang to London for a 2 week intensive training course in State Propaganda with...
Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...
Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation
News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee.
It is thought he...
Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”
Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up.
"I never intended it" he...
Newspaper sellers to take precautions.
Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
Taking are speling back!
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.
Computer giants and tax dodging...
Rochdale Herald distances itself from Rochdale Herald Online question whether Daily Mail Editor Paul...
We are aware this may make us appear terribly foolish. The Rochdale Herald Editor, the late Quentin D Fortesqueue, is seething about the lack of...
Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters
Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Daily Mail editor spontaneously combusts in Syrian child refugee logic feedback loop tragedy
After recent conflicts of conscience for the Mail, yesterday's news headlines about a little boy from Aleppo in Syria has caused it to disappear...
Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
