Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

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Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

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There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

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Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...

Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s

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Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it. Today at the cenotaph...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...

We’re nothing like Trump Supporters insist lone wolves

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Lone wolves are said to be up in arms this afternoon after CNN compared them to Trump Supporter and Canadian mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette.

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

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The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

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With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...

Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism

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Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Katie gloated...
Daily Mail

Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each

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Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to...

Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale

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Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the...

Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network

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The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...

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