Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

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John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

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In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this...

Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists

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The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.

Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.

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Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

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Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...
Rochdale paramedics

Breaking News: Dozens Dead in Fleet Street Fire

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Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House...

David Attenborough found alive and well

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Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief...
Broadcast

BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth

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As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can...

George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner

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There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng...

Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

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News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg to train North Korean propaganda journalists

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Gajja Ileum, a journalist for the Korean Worker's Party, has travelled from Pyongyang to London for a 2 week intensive training course in State Propaganda with...

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