David Attenborough found alive and well

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Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief...

Nobody Offended By Twitter Joke

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A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history. The joke which reads "Most...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

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ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known...

Mr Tumble to sue SNN

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The much loved CBBC presenter Mr. Tumble, aka Justin Fletcher MBE, has set the wheels in motion with his legal team to issue Southend...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

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John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...

Barrack’s is at least three times bigger than Donald’s says Melania

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Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald's. "Donald is...

Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother

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In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
Attenborough

BBC to put Sir David Attenborough in a ‘stasis chamber’

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The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put...
The Canary Website

Shock as Canary dies from its own gas

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...

Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass

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Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...

Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap

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Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand. Former...

Let’s Get Ready to TUMBLE!

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Things just got real in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after those soft southern satirist impersonators at The Southend News Network went...

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse

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The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

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It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

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