Newspaper sellers to take precautions.
Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...
Sun to be sold in paper bag
The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today.
“From...
Billy Bush reinstated after “Today” apologises to him
Billy Bush is to return to the Today programme after receiving a grovelling apology from the network owners.
They have also sacked the producers and...
Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa
Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...
Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about
It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.
Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...
Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...
Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.
Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.
He was followed and...
Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.
Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...
Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s
Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it.
Today at the cenotaph...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks
All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity.
The reason for the multi-party agreed...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse
Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
Fake news reporting undermining professionals
Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise...
