BBC to put Sir David Attenborough in a ‘stasis chamber’
The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put...
Star in a really cross flight bar
Sun "journo" and fist of reason, Jeremy Clarkson was recently prevented from boarding a plane in Stuttgart, Germany and he claims that the bigoted...
BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct
Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters.
The shock extinction...
Rochdale Herald attempts to break world record for the longest newspaper headline ever ends...
All at the Herald are devastated said Doris the tea lady.
The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book
The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.
As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Piers Morgan distraught after accidentally flushing article down the bog
He'd just logged on
Vox populi Piers Morgan (yeah I used Latin, deal with it, what comic do you think you're reading, the Mail?) has...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced
ginseng tea...
Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother
In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
Man with giant head appears on Ch4’s Grand Designs
A man with an unusually massive head denies he's up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the...
Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account
In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly...
Why isn’t the media reporting UK government mass genocide? Asks The Canary
The Canary has today revealed what the mainstream media (msm) won't. That the Tory led Government have committed mass genocide in a bid to...
