The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Angry man

People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status

88
The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...
Sun Journalist

BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM

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The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting. Stan Still said,...
Elderly Couple

New survey shows 52% of Daily Mail readers have masturbated to The World At...

0
Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder. The 1970s documentary, The World At War,...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

2
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...

Piers Morgan distraught after accidentally flushing article down the bog

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He'd just logged on Vox populi Piers Morgan (yeah I used Latin, deal with it, what comic do you think you're reading, the Mail?) has...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

0
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea...
Kelvin Mackenzie South Yorkshire Police

Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police

0
South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

1
John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...

Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016

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There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

20
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...

Princess Diana’s ghost gives Express readers advice on how to deal with slippery driving...

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The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather. Speaking through a medium,...

Scientists prove dementia risk reduced by not reading The Sun

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Scientists at the Rochdale Institute for Cerebral Health have released the results of a long running study into dementia and how not reading The...

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