Environment

Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river. One told us, "This is disgusting really. I've been donating to...

Daily Mail 'readers' have been cancelling donations to the World Wildlife Fund today after the newspaper revealed that it helps wildlife not native to Britain. Mail 'reader', theyarrestyouforbeingenglish1521 told us, "It's disgusting. There's animals in...

After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose and are just evil little shits. We spoke to a representative...

World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one of his meet and greets with local activists. He'd had...

After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning of Spring has worried forecasters and panic hoarders alike. "We're...

Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before she set sail for Spain Thunberg said, "I am sailing...

Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first encounter of a year with an utter bastard of a...

A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that bears shit in the woods. "Naturally, this sort of behaviour is...