Polar Bear

Aaron Banks eaten by polar bear forced to migrate to Cheshire by global warming

0
Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave voter and climate change denier Aaron Banks. The attack comes only days after...

Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!

0
Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't the only one to have a scientific epiphany whilst sitting...

Daily Mail readers boycott RSPB after it helps Canadian Goose

0
Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river. One told us, "This is disgusting really. I've been donating to...

Daily Mail readers cancel WWF donations after discovering pandas aren’t native to Britain

0
Daily Mail 'readers' have been cancelling donations to the World Wildlife Fund today after the newspaper revealed that it helps wildlife not native to Britain. Mail 'reader', theyarrestyouforbeingenglish1521 told us, "It's disgusting. There's animals in...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

0
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first encounter of a year with an utter bastard of a...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

0
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last Saturday that I found it. I saw it sticking out...

DON’T PANIC! The weather is still shit.

0
After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning of Spring has worried forecasters and panic hoarders alike. "We're...
Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

2
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's 24°c outside, 28°C in the Herald office and roughly 200°C...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
22,131FollowersFollow

Popular Posts