Environment

A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that bears shit in the woods. "Naturally, this sort of behaviour is...

A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended. The estate of roughly 200 houses was destroyed totally as the birds had a...

Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before she set sail for Spain Thunberg said, "I am sailing...

Following his plans to make France carbon-neutral by banning all petrol and diesel by the middle of the century, Newly-elected French President Macron has vowed to make a cup of coffee and a light...

Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river. One told us, "This is disgusting really. I've been donating to...

After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning of Spring has worried forecasters and panic hoarders alike. "We're...

Daily Mail 'readers' have been cancelling donations to the World Wildlife Fund today after the newspaper revealed that it helps wildlife not native to Britain. Mail 'reader', theyarrestyouforbeingenglish1521 told us, "It's disgusting. There's animals in...

Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's 24°c outside, 28°C in the Herald office and roughly 200°C...