Polar Bear

Aaron Banks eaten by polar bear forced to migrate to Cheshire by global warming

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Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave voter and...
Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

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After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...

Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!

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Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT. It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't...

Wildfire at Huddersfield housing estate as family of partridges lose control of barbecue

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A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended. The estate of roughly...
Champs Elysees

France announces plans for affordable coffee on the Champs-Elysees by 2049

Following his plans to make France carbon-neutral by banning all petrol and diesel by the middle of the century, Newly-elected French President Macron has...

DON’T PANIC! The weather is still shit.

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After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning...
Tree lined street

Sheffield City Council issues injunction against Councillor for doing councillory things.

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In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

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