Environment

World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one of his meet and greets with local activists. He'd had...

Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's 24°c outside, 28°C in the Herald office and roughly 200°C...

Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before she set sail for Spain Thunberg said, "I am sailing...

A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended. The estate of roughly 200 houses was destroyed totally as the birds had a...

Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river. One told us, "This is disgusting really. I've been donating to...

Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave voter and climate change denier Aaron Banks. The attack comes only days after...

In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest for straight kerbstones - the Council has resorted to issuing...

Following his plans to make France carbon-neutral by banning all petrol and diesel by the middle of the century, Newly-elected French President Macron has vowed to make a cup of coffee and a light...