France announces plans for affordable coffee on the Champs-Elysees by 2049
Following his plans to make France carbon-neutral by banning all petrol and diesel by the middle of the century, Newly-elected French President Macron has...
Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Wildfire at Huddersfield housing estate as family of partridges lose control of barbecue
A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended.
The estate of roughly...
Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer
A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Aaron Banks eaten by polar bear forced to migrate to Cheshire by global warming
Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave voter and...