Daily Mail ‘readers’ have been cancelling donations to the World Wildlife Fund today after the newspaper revealed that it helps wildlife not native to Britain.

Mail ‘reader’, theyarrestyouforbeingenglish1521 told us, “It’s disgusting. There’s animals in this country that need help. Take hedgehogs for instance. There’s loads of them that die on the roads each year. I ran over 4 on my way here.”

BREXITNOWW!!!678 told us, “I saw those pandas in Edinburgh thinking that they were related to haggis or something. Turns out they’re foreign immigrants living on the donations of hard working Brits. No more. I’ve just taken the kids panda toys to the garden and burnt them in front of them. I’ve also started a petition to get them deported to Pakistan or wherever it is they’re from.”

Gollywogsarentracist2345 told us, “I’ve cancelled my donations and ordered a load of bamboo furniture. Not only that, but I’ve arranged to have my house clad entirely in bamboo. Not so happy now are you WWF?”

It’s not just the WWF either. The RSPB have also noted a fall in donations after the Mail reported they helped a Canadian Goose that had fallen into a river.

Reesmoggscodpiece2345 told us, “I’ve had it with these charities only helping foreign animals. If we get rid of all the non-native species then they’ll have to help only British animals. That’s why I’ve hired the mobile library and converted it into a gas chamber. I’m going to round up all the non-native species and kill them.”


Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.