The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”
Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay.
Bert had...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic
Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says
Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...
Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice
Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Bradley Walsh cast on Doctor Who to tackle underrepresentation of middle aged white men
Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who.
The...
If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Millennium Falcon and on and on and on
As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.
Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...
Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec
Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...
Man vows to watch Game of Thrones right after the US Election, Breaking Bad...
Rochdale was in turmoil last night after discovering that the last remaining person in the UK yet to watch Season 6 of Game of...
Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith.
The toe faced smarm slinger...
Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...
