Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants
The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit.
Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons
Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Starbucks evacuated after customer Alan Akbar orders a coffee
A Starbucks in Manchester was evacuated today after a man called Alan Akbar ordered a Caramel Frappuccino.
Alan told us, "I was out shopping and...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running
The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday.
An insider told us, "She...
Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children
Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping.
Dads...
Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan
Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan.
A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing...
Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...
Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu.
A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage.
The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
