Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses
A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...
Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...
A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
I just want things to be the colour they were before, admits Brexiteer
Icon, n. A person or thing regarded as a representative symbol
"'Back and Blue - Brits will get their iconic dark blue passports back after...
City banker in sponsored sleep out confident he understands homelessness
You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility
After taking...
UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Man discovers he’s middle aged after getting neck injury whilst putting jumper on
A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper.
Stan Still, 38, said,...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...
Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...
Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...
‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week;
"Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy
Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...
Ecuadorian embassy reveals Julian Assange has accidentally ordered a trailer tent whilst drunk
The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk.
An embassy employee...
