National News

Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government swiftly unveiled plans to begin construction work on Rockall to...

Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an anonymous address which  but it appears to have been sent...

Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that means don't you? Christmas!" And "That's me done until January now lol....

Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s club on Tuesday afternoon showing a PowerPoint presentation to a...

Prison authorities in the North West have announced an urgent investigation into why no prisons in the North West made it into the top 10 for acute violence. A spokesman said, "When you look at...

A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald that contrary to what would be expected, they don't see...

Clinically depressed Phil Jones, 38, was found standing on the edge of Clifton Suspension Bridge after his wife had left him last Tuesday. Mr. Jones wasn't coping very well after the collapse of his rocky...

John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People" and called for his immediate detention. Mr McDonnell was recently appointed...

Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince Nuttall hacked his way through a thorny defensive barrier surrounding...

There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news follows their recent multi-million pound crisis management contract with serial...

The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out of the working class. The original case was brought by five...

A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to contemplate its plans Dianageddon. The Daily Express has announced it intends...

Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice younger voters using discounts for Saga. One spokesman said, "After much...

The computer that produces the list of the most popular names given to babies each year has thrown up a remarkable result in its test report.   The leading girls names up to November 30th were...

Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. "Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are up," a bloke we know is said to have overheard...

International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's music management software iTunes. Potential applicants to the club, whose membership makes...