Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm
Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight.
It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...
Gyms too fucking busy, confirm everybody
Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.
It was standing room only in every single...
Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people
A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people tonight.
Barbara...
Michael Gove to celebrate New Year’s Eve with simple meal of live mice and...
Michael Gove has confirmed that he will be spending New Year Eve at home for quiet night in with his eggs.
The environment secretary has...
Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.
It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...
The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.
Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork
The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News
Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...
Emergency services respond to man with spade in head
Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries.
The man's wife called 999 after her...
Man adamant he wanted nowt for Christmas now angry and petulant he got what...
An angry Rochdale man who swore to friends and relatives he wanted nothing except "maybe a skip" for all the stuff he already owns...
It’s a Christmas Miracle says Rochdale Man who needed nineteen pairs of new socks
A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.
Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000
The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves.
At...
