Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin

It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens Rochdale. Today saw the unveiling of Simon Danczuk's crowning achievement. A...

Sheffield councillors flummoxed By Spade and Pick Conundrum

Sheffield councillors visiting a street improvement site were utterly bamboozled when contractors lined up three spades against a wall and invited the councillors to 'take their pick'. Councillor Bryan Dodge, Cabinet  Member For Generating Profit...

Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed

A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only his spelling mistakes corrected.  Mr Scratching was highlighting the long wait...
Rochdale Riverside

Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief

Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the ongoing US Government shutdown on the basis that "we're not...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal Democrats ties, which were decided by drawing lots of straws...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with two women holding hands. How am I supposed to know...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing wrong 'under trade union law or any other law'. He...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections we've decided to trial a new scheme in which we...

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife during which she told him "I'm fine". Mr Vaz, who had...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting our hopes up it turns out that it was somebody...
Man in tree with chainsaw

Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’

Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.  Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down eight mature trees alongside Rustling Road in Sheffield, and contrary...

Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims

The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Rochdale’s Monthly Bin Collections Hailed Success

Rochdale’s Council have declared their bi-monthly bin collections a “massive success” and a “victory for recycling” by Labour Mayor Johnny Pork.
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural Planning Group have put forward the idea because they are worried...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in an attempted boost to integration, and ultimately to increase Britain's...

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