Fooded river

Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake

Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday. Deep in the bowels of Hitler's favourite building, several documents advising that the Rochdale river...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in an attempted boost to integration, and ultimately to increase Britain's...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the news on Twitter that the creator of the cult 60s...
Tree lined street

Sheffield City Council issues injunction against Councillor for doing councillory things.

In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest for straight kerbstones - the Council has resorted to issuing...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural Planning Group have put forward the idea because they are worried...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with two women holding hands. How am I supposed to know...

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife during which she told him "I'm fine". Mr Vaz, who had...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections we've decided to trial a new scheme in which we...
Rochdale Riverside

Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief

Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the ongoing US Government shutdown on the basis that "we're not...

Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage in Turkey when in the early hours of New Year's...

LATEST – Burnley moves even closer to life in colour

Residents of Burnley moved one step closer to a life lived in colour this week. The Rochdale Herald recently reported Burnley Council's plans to allow colour to be available to its...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to hospital yesterday. Sheffield Council is Labour controlled and Labour Councillor Podge...
Hippies Hippy

Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed

Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were celebrating their freedom yesterday. Simeon Cramp and Calvin Hobbes, who frequently...

Rochdale’s Monthly Bin Collections Hailed Success

Rochdale’s Council have declared their bi-monthly bin collections a “massive success” and a “victory for recycling” by Labour Mayor Johnny Pork.

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Rochdale council urge residents to help alleviate flooding

Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their taps on over night to help lower the risk of...

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