America

Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich in natural resources and fuckwits the territory covers almost 10...

Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have suggested today. "We must stop the glorification of being an uneducated flim...

Hateful, racist, bigoted white supremacist Donald Trump has called on the people of the United States to unite against hate, racism, bigotry and white supremacy. Reading from a teleprompter - where the big words are...

Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot and killed the government has announced dramatic reforms to curb...

In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White House has released a statement saying it's "too soon since...

Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people in El Paso yet to receive them. Vital supplies of platitudes...

Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shootingSo-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of food festivals in the US after the mass shooting in...

Donald Trump's 2020 re-election campaign has debuted a new range of MAGA dog whistles at a rally in Florida this past weekend. Florida Trump fan Stan Still told us, "I bought mine and it's working...

A bloke who wants to shag his daughter has suggested that a top US politician should be investigated for marrying her brother. Incest enthusiast and long time friend of serial paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, Donald Trump,...

A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of completely innocent Trump supporters during a visit to the Middle...

Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things. "Racists are a minority just like blacks, gays, wops, gooks, spicks and women." A spokesman...

News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several cleaners in the White House are reported to have resigned...

There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that a Trump appointed diplomat can read and write. "It took us...

A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he doesn't care what people think of him. "Obviously the President won't...

Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the year than mass shootings in America. "It's super! I genuinely can't...

A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said to have been gutted not to have been able to...