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In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few hours. Northerner Steve Dickinson was making a mug of tea when...

The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President made a series of controversial comments about knife crime in...

Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs at UK airports and ports with signs that read 'Abandon...

Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We at the Labour party are celebrating this news; half of...

Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit otherwise he risks becoming Prime Minister. One MP told us, "Jeremy...

The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday morning on the British town of Burnley causing wide spread...

A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily Mail and told the Herald, "In our world there is...

In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten off with a premium sex toy. The attacker forced his way...

Following the news that Nick Clegg has been hired by Facebook it has been announced that the platform will absolutely, definitely, always be free to use for students. The 51 year old former 'politician' was...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a good night's sleep" when asked what they should do for...

Forget looking into your bride's eyes on your wedding day, you don't know what love is until you become a parent and hold your baby for the first time, says a patronising twat. Hugh Donnow,...

A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening by bringing Kraft Slices as his artisanal choice. Northerner Gerry Ramsbuttocks...

A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon my yooman will be putting up the big green plaything...

KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have miraculously averted the logistics crisis at DHL by introducing an...

Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The gang carried out the audacious snatch at lunchtime yesterday, making...