Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation 

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Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'. Ralph Johnson of Middleton said; "Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...

Clive Dunn in Nazi uniform outrage

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Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform. The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

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Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who

19
Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...

Jabba The Hutt denies allegations he’s ever been a movie producer

The interstellar crime boss and CEO of Tatooine’s largest cartel has gone on the record to deny allegations that he has ever received a...
Ed Sheeran

Bloke who knocked Ed Sheeran off bike given MBE for services to music industry

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The man who ran over Ed Sheeran and broke his arm will receive an MBE in the new year’s honours list, it has been...

Emmy Awards honour pale minorities

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Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...

BBC confirm David Icke to host next series of Saturday Kitchen

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There was good news for truth seekers, Illuminati exposers and the generally paranoid today, as the BBC confirmed the Son of God David Icke...

Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car

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The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
Bake Off

God Ruins Bake Off

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This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.  The contestants had been asked to make Fairy...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

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BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...

This weeks Soap headlines

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The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss! Emmerdale Farm It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...

DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration

3
After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

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Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...

Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track

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In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.

The Verve say lack of racism due to drugs not working

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Indie stalwarts, The Verve have revealed that the in inspiration for their hit song, The Drugs Don't Work, was their inability to be racist. The...

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