Meat Loaf isn’t dead

0
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Game of Thrones

Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other

10
Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another. This...

Local man in critical condition after accidentally hearing Vanessa Feltz on the radio

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch...

Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together

0
Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past. “We look into all...

BBC News “Medal Rush” Satire Wins Best Joke Award At Edinburgh 

In a break from tradition the funniest joke award at ths years Edinburgh Festival has been awarded to BBC News.  "Normally we just look for...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

0
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

32
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65

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BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed. Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of...

Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun

7
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

0
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...
Radiohead

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

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Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end...

‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging

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Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

7
Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

0
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...

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