Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait

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Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz. Before he clicked...
Watership Down

Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down

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A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down. What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...

Nigel Farage cast as Pinocchio in reboot of Disney classic

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Arron Banks is tipped to direct in his feature debut having amassed an impressive CV of smaller films targeted at indie audiences.
child

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

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A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Remote pointing at TV

Trump TV

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Trump Television – Live from the Whitehouse 4.00 pm Wake Up Oceania – or face the consequences. We know who you are and where you...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...
Bono

Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice

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It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why. U2 played Berlin last night and...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

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Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Fears for safety of Strictly 2016 producers as AdB meets JCC

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Strictly Come Dancing returned to our screens this evening in a whirlwind of glitz and glitter. Amongst the celebrities dancing for our pleasure over...

All Future Covers Of David Bowie Hit To Be Recorded As Life On Titan

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The David Bowie hit Life On Mars is getting a slight posthumous makeover, it would appear. In response to NASA’s announcement about the possibility of...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

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Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...

Man dry retches vital organs up after remote batteries die during episode of The...

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Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

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In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...

Mime artist finds way out of glass box

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Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box. There was...
Doctor Who

Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis

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Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...

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