Harry Potter

JK Rowling Announces New Harry Potter Book

In a move sure to delight her legion of fans, JK Rowling has let slip to the World a new book in the series.

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

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A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream

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After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...

Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked

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After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs

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A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot. The track by Bob...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...
Lucy Worsley

Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley

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Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley". The new...
Old man tying shoe laces

Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent

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Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins. Described by the...

Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino

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The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...

Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles

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Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point. Departure, a new...
Crocodile does bushtucker trial on I'm a Celebrity

East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial

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"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."

Katie Hopkins replaced by audio book of Mein Kampf narrated by Paul Nuttall

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Until LBC can find a suitable successor to Katie Hopkins her slot will be filled by a looped recording of Mein Kampf, narrated by...

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