Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world

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In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

Gove to juggle environment portfolio with rent boy role in Midnight Cowboy sequel

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Michael Gove will juggle his new appointment as environment minister with a starring role in the long awaited sequel to 60s cult classic movie,...

Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.

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X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening. To celebrate the new series we at...

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms

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Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of...

Viewers hail best X Factor episode in years as sound fails

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X Factor viewers are hailing last nights episode of The X Factor, the greatest episode ever after the sound failed. The still inexplicably popular show, featuring people sucking...
Lionel Richie

I’ve never danced on a ceiling, confession SHOCK

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Rumours are rife about the quite tall, big-faced singing star after he has "fessed up" to not dancing on ceilings. The 80's porkie-pie uttering...
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

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Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...

70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles

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Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Remote pointing at TV

Trump TV

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Trump Television – Live from the Whitehouse 4.00 pm Wake Up Oceania – or face the consequences. We know who you are and where you...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

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The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...

Theresa May to appear from Pyramid in Glastonbury

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Conservative leader to introduce those monks from Doctor Who on the main stage as Michael Eavis pours away his cider and looks accusingly at...

DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration

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After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...

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