Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...

Here’s how you can join in with The Herald’s interactive Celebrity Big Brother game

Celebrity Big Brother fans will be looking forward to tonight's triple eviction in the run up to Friday's finale. Finalists definitely making it through to...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show

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Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...

Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes

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Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island. Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...

Victory for disability campaigners as Broccoli family confirm next Bond will be paraplegic

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The next James Bond will be played by a paraplegic actor, Eon Productions has announced. Auditions for Daniel Craig’s replacement will begin in the summer...

Remember the Wombles? Forgotten 70’s BBC stars found starving in hole in ground

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In their 1970s heyday they topped the charts with popular sing-a-long anthems like "Remember You're a Womble" and "Wombling Merry Christmas." But after the hits...
Bake Off

God Ruins Bake Off

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This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.  The contestants had been asked to make Fairy...

Stranger Things shit declares post millennial generation

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Self obsessed cockwomble, Sebastian Tristrum, 14, said "It's crap. I put down my iPhone for a bit and tried to watch it but nothing...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

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In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

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Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

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In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is...

X distances itself from factor

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For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...
Crocodile does bushtucker trial on I'm a Celebrity

East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial

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"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."

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