The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

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Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

11
Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...

Tom Hiddleston does a runner.

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Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...

Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual

1
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...
William Shatner

William Shatner fired from Trump Biopic for not having big enough ego

5
It’s not often you hear William Shatner’s ego described as “too small”, but that’s the complaint being made by the producers of his latest...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

BBC to replace Great British Bake off with The Super English Cake Off

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I resent the implication - said an angry Tracy Naylor, head of food entertainment at the Beeb who had agreed to meet me in...

Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait

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Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz. Before he clicked...

Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says

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Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

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Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...

Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

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The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

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Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...
Crocodile does bushtucker trial on I'm a Celebrity

East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial

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"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."

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