Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show
Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...
Radio 2 announces replacement of all Christmas songs with Call to Prayer to avoid...
If you want any chance of hearing any of your favourite Christmas tunes, then you better tune in to this week.
Radio 2 has today...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead
Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...
Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
I’m not homophobic, you’re just a filthy sinner! says singer
It's alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it's based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Argentina demand the return of Love Island
Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of...
Writers of Brexit admit they’ve no idea how to end it and it’s going...
The writers behind the hit show, Brexit say they've no idea how to end the show and there are fears it could turn into...
La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’
La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...
Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who
In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...
Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July.
In the kind...
Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...
Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino
The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...
North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style
North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style".
The song, which is his own twist...




















































