Manilow ditches piano for oboe
In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe.
Manilow said...
BBC bans racist song White Christmas
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned.
Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
Arsehole dies in Karmic Avalanche
An arsehole died on Saturday in an avalanche of karma whilst trying to piss off and murder a massive angry bull in front of...
Theresa May to appear from Pyramid in Glastonbury
Conservative leader to introduce those monks from Doctor Who on the main stage as Michael Eavis pours away his cider and looks accusingly at...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions.
His fans have welcomed the news, but their...
Hollywood shocked as no Fast & Furious movie released this week after star’s arrest
Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a...
Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision
A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest.
Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...
Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...
Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’
An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'.
Michael Gove...
Streisand Needs To Pronounce Her Name Properly, Says Siri
Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces...
Dave Grohl invites Jeremy Corbyn to front a reformed Nirvana
Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has invited Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn to front a planned reformation of his former band Nirvana.
Speaking to...
Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid
Viewers of one of Channel 5's only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light...
Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena
Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear.
At a...
Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction
The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...




















































