Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand
Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it.
A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....
Boris Johnson confirmed to star in remake of Bill and Ben
Odd hairstyle, dependent upon Weed, strange manner of attire, frankly incomprehensible language - and you can see who's pulling the strings.
Boris Johnson was born to...
Idris Elba to play Duke of Wellington
In what has been seen as an homage to Brexit, Idris Elba is to take on the role of The Duke of Wellington in...
Dave Grohl invites Jeremy Corbyn to front a reformed Nirvana
Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has invited Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn to front a planned reformation of his former band Nirvana.
Speaking to...
Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who
In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Writers of Brexit admit they’ve no idea how to end it and it’s going...
The writers behind the hit show, Brexit say they've no idea how to end the show and there are fears it could turn into...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice
Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes
Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island.
Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...
DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration
After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...
Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017
It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...
Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace
Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...
Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...
“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...




















































