Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant
George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council...
James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions.
His fans have welcomed the news, but their...
Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says
Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show
Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...
Cliff Richard is absolutely, definitely not a nonce admits BBC
Rumours are spreading that CLiff Richards, who is not a nonce, is furious today after the BBC suggested that he had racked up unreasonable...
Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who
In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...
Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof
A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller
Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War.
The...
East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial
"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."
Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.
X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening.
To celebrate the new series we at...
Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
