Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Blair to build fantasy superhero based theme park Blair World in central London

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Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

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In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...

Enemy of the people: Fury as flamboyant FAKE judge overhead saying he voted ‘remain’

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'Judge' Rinder, or Mr. Rinder, to use his actual LEGAL title has angered Brexiters after he was overhead saying that he was a 'remainer'...

Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”

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Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay. Bert had...

Oscars turmoil as Trump mistakenly awarded prize as “President of La La land”

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The 90th annual academy award "Oscars" ceremony was thrown into turmoil when Donald Trump was mistakenly awarded the best actor prize for his role...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

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John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

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President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena

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Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

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Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...

Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs

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A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged. Music fan Lennie Payne...

Outrage as Dawn French confirmed for lead role in The Diane Abbot Story

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Anti-racism campaigners were up in arms Wednesday following the news that Dawn French has been chosen to play the lead role in the upcoming...

The Verve say lack of racism due to drugs not working

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Indie stalwarts, The Verve have revealed that the in inspiration for their hit song, The Drugs Don't Work, was their inability to be racist. The...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

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In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...

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