DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration

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After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...

Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage

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Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...

Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night

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BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of...
Tommy Robinson

‘Here’s to you Tommy Robinson’ fundraising song campaigns for his release from Twitter jail

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With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face And here's to you Tommy...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

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Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017

It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...

BBC apologise for penis in background of May the Queen Bee

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The BBC and producers of Prime Minister's Question Time show, May the Queen Bee, have today apologised for an offensive penis that appeared in...
Harry Potter

JK Rowling Announces New Harry Potter Book

In a move sure to delight her legion of fans, JK Rowling has let slip to the World a new book in the series.
Glastonbury

Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...

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Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands. The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...

Morgan/Farage interview to become a movie”The Vaginas Dialogue”

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The fascinating story behind Piers Morgan's earth-moving TV interview with seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to become a major motion...

BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65

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BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed. Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of...

Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”

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Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay. Bert had...

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

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The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...

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