Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam
Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare
A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last...
Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together
Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past.
“We look into all...
Celebrity Big Brother get Saw makeover
As the launch of the zillionth series of Celebrity Big Brother plans to get underway in just a few hours, The Rochdale Herald can...
Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie
Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Speculation had run rife that, having been born...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’
Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe.
"All that was left was his right...
‘Here’s to you Tommy Robinson’ fundraising song campaigns for his release from Twitter jail
With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel
But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face
And here's to you Tommy...
New Doctor Who already hates Jeremy Hunt
The new Doctor hasn't even reanimated yet and already she has fallen out with Jeremy Hunt.
The Doctor told the Herald, "Jeremy asked to see...
Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience.
"Standing ankle deep in...
Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake
Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins.
Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...
Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena
Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear.
At a...
Mary, Mel and Sue to present new slapstick kids tv show ‘The Cackle...
The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
