Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...

BBC apologise for penis in background of May the Queen Bee

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The BBC and producers of Prime Minister's Question Time show, May the Queen Bee, have today apologised for an offensive penis that appeared in...
Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

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Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one...

James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot

The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

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Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

Man who ate World’s hottest chilli for likes doesn’t regret a thing as everyone...

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The trend of being a total dickhead and doing something horrendously stupid to upload to social media just so other stupid people will click...
Radiohead

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

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Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

Murder she wrote woman not dead

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Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced. "Appearing as...

Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...

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A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer. The vote...

This weeks Soap headlines

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The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss! Emmerdale Farm It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
Pretentious Man

Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female

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In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Lionel Richie

I’ve never danced on a ceiling, confession SHOCK

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Rumours are rife about the quite tall, big-faced singing star after he has "fessed up" to not dancing on ceilings. The 80's porkie-pie uttering...

Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says

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Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...

Local man in critical condition after accidentally hearing Vanessa Feltz on the radio

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

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In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...

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