Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...
Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked
Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached.
Yahoo, which was once a...
New Britain First leader Wayne Cummings apparently not a made up name
Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...
Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox
Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.
"Farage has spent months...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals
Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests.
Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his
administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff.
"Edison fake American....
Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts
Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose opinions are worth serious consideration, while Mr Hunt as something rather different.
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
