Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”
The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Taking are speling back!
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.
Computer giants and tax dodging...
Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Government to tackle loneliness in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots
The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots.
The Department of Digital, Culture, Media &...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...
Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...
Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism
Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
‘Men only wear sunglasses to check out other women, like at weddings’ say Scientists
Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
