Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far not been forthcoming.
Thousands of people confused by what Brexit means...
Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy
Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across the nation show their scorn.
"It had some kind of mental...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters
Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much worse than accusations that he has raped at least one...
Corbyn defection massive blow to crybaby lefties
Shock news reaching us today of defection of the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn has left the party in favour of Britain First.
The shock move was thought to be spurred by Corbyn's sympathy for...
Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel
The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden email server supposedly belonging to Hillary Clinton.
The agents found computer...
Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.
Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the government agreed to go ahead with a third runway at...
Media blackout of J***** C***** continues
All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we can not name for legal reasons
Chief columnist for The Sun,...
We need another runway, but can’t we build it nearer poor people – says...
Perennial mayoral election loser and political wet weekend 'Whispering' Zac Goldsmith resigned his seat in Richmond today after Theresa May announced plans to build a third runway in his back garden.
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful claws.
The group was made up of 25 13-16 year olds...
We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels
Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers
Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
Sturgeon First Reserve for Brexit Talks Peter Duncan
Theresa May has committed to involving all "key stakeholders and significant leaders" in a working group on the UK's Brexit strategy.
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even more dreadful people with beards called 'Noddlers'.
These horrific trend setters,...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention
The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media.
The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...
