Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections.
Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise.
There is broad...
Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump
Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped...
Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back".
Mr Farron said...
High Court Judge gives blow job to Brexit
Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court...
Farage to become economic migrant.
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA.
Apparently...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Brutus advises senators to get behind Caesar
Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar.
Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
