Other News

Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile phone to the northern town. One open-mouthed spectator, Stanley Onions,...

The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a magazine interview published earlier today. The comments came in reference to...

Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain to raise awareness of the effects of this crippling lung...

"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on Nigel Farage if the opportunity ever presents, Biff knows a...

Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after he was first appointed Foreign Secretary. Speaking on condition of anonymity...

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour has concluded that they were more likely to get their...

UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April 12th 1914. Confirming that he wasn't actually born until November 1976,...

Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from cages in barns. The Jesuses who are farmed for the chocolate...

The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...

At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The dickheads entered the Sibuya Game Reserve armed with a rifle,...

One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving the EU. Rochdale has held the official European 'Arsehole' title for...

Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH: Good morning, Kumbuka. Kumbuka: Whatcha. Listen, I need to correct you...

Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the rebel scum.  Recent Question Time programmes have featured panels heavy with...

The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at a celebrity bash in London, The Herald can exclusively reveal. The...

Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley. The negotiations had arisen because, although Cliff lives in a pro-Brexit...