Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug

26
Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally. Mr...

Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Peeing Cyclist

Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...

0
Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests. Chopper...

New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...

13
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner. As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...

Scientists name new species of pot-bellied pig after Paul Golding

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Hot on the heels of naming a new species of shrimp after wall breaking rockers Pink Floyd, zoologists have named a newly discovered sub-species...

Britain First unsure what comes Second

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Britain First members were baffled this week when asked the unintentional riddle: “If Britain's first, what’s second?” The question came from Billy Michaels, a seven...

E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire

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E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Deep Space

Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system

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Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began. It passed through...
Lions

Dickheads eaten by lions

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At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...

Socialist FURIOUS that train strike made him late for business meeting

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A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes. Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to...
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

0
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...
Phil Collins

Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album

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Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

0
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...
Michael McIntyre

People who robbed Michael McIntyre receive award for services to comedy

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Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions. One of the two robbers, most recently...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...

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