Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports
Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic' passports in a colour of their choice.
Just over 51% of...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has been seen either knocking a defenceless child to the floor,...
Relief for western buddhists as 5th noble truth says “Get on it!”
The world of Buddhism was flipped upside down today as a new addition to the original 4 noble truths was discovered in a monastery in Tibet.
The 5000 year old scripture stated a previously unseen...
Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet
Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in a pram to carry up some stairs.
Faberge said she always...
BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65
BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed.
Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of these awards out to anyone old because, well, 2016."
His comments...
ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019.
The decision comes after months of debate amongst its members, which include...
Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...
Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister Award" for the seventh week running.
The award has been presented...
High Court Judge gives blow job to Brexit
Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court as a Judge did his job this morning.
Since the 23rd...
Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa
We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers.
Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable Phillip "Laughing Boy" Hammond did the honours. Wearing an improvised...
Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals
Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables.
A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...
Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen
Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were left in a critical condition after a school shooting that...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have been holding back British industry.
"We need to take back control...
Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain
There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster.
Rochdale's elderly population had turned out en masse at the voting booths to vote against...
No need for Artificial Intelligence, say robots
Robots at Rochdale Community University maintain that advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) are not necessary. I was invited to meet Robbie, a MK VII Hawking series robot, at the University's science lab last week.
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped by the head with tweezers, as close to his cabinet...
Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...
George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly rebuffed his sudden shove by splashing her arms and crying...
