iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

0
After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...

Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic

0
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
nuclear

FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017

0
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

2
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

0
Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...

Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises

0
A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

2
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

0
The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Supermoon is even bigger than your mum’s backside

0
Content creators and tabloids are celebrating this week as the Supermoon article market shows little sign of slowing. "It's kinda the opposite of the so-called...
Writer

Democracy to be redefined  “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”

The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more...

Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism

0
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Theresa May

Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...

12
The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level

0
Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...

New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages

1
Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...

Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.

0
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...

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