Other News

A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history. The joke which reads "Most of my ideas are conceived while on Facebook- like most...

Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous for crappy record shops and climate change, told the Herald; "I'm...

After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed, Team Corbyn have admitted it was all a clever ruse. "Jeremy...

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.  In an in depth study lasting nearly 2 days, first year students pored through hundreds of right...

Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces the old cod's name. Strezzzand, who is 104 years old, has...

Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members of the public walking their dogs were distressed to see...

As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's Republic of China wishes to congratulate the British team for...

Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.  The ex-Labour MP and reality TV fuckwit has made headlines after his pseudo...

It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a series of decisions Simon has lived to regret, which have...

There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at the Rio Olympics securing the title of Britain's greatest ever...

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their editors sleep in.? "It's the frigging tube but later," said talented...

Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary Jayne Watson (31) from the Falinge estate was working what...

One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving the EU. Rochdale has held the official European 'Arsehole' title for...

After recent conflicts of conscience for the Mail, yesterday's news headlines about a little boy from Aleppo in Syria has caused it to disappear in a puff of confusion.  Recent problems for the Mail involving...

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when precisely it was great. So we asked Douglas to do some...

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that cabinet meetings, after the recess, are to be sponsored...