eBay To Close Sundays
The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror
The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.
Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
Homeopaths proposal for huge protest march against NHS cuts watered down
Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans.
The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially...
Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing
Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros.
It's believed Mr Gove...
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Man who received double hand transplant can’t wait to “trim his hedge”
The first person in the UK ever to have a double hand transplant has told The Rochdale Herald that he can't wait to get...
Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail
The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin.
In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...
Florence and the McMachine
McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values
Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
This is your eighty seventh and FINAL warning Corbyn tells Labour MPs
After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin's unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has...
