Other News

Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he can purify the English language for everyone in the United...

As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night and ‘Outing Traitors Not Wearing a Red Flower’ day are...

The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion. "I created the world wide web for fucks sake... The single most important step...

It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements of the Prime Minister in guiding the nation to separation...

During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban. Protestors almost wore their fingers to the bone in opposition...

Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH: Good morning, Kumbuka. Kumbuka: Whatcha. Listen, I need to correct you...

In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his dictatorial attitude towards leadership of the party. "Call it spring cleaning,...

Syrian parents took to social media yesterday in support of Jon Platt, the British father who the Supreme Court deemed to have broken the law by taking his daughter to DisneyLand during term time. “It...

Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent. The slogan was widely accepted as an accurate reflection of how life...

The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to it's final stage of evolution The Govegone, an invisible creature...

As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called for the legalization of the ivory trade. Zimbabwe, famous for its...

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time in his life. The news comes after the announcement that David...

In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to all funding for the National Health Service in an effort...

Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The White House has U-turned on its decision to disclose information...

Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them to diagnose themselves using their smartphones. Barbara Dickinson of Rochdale said; "I've...

There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris Johnson at diplomacy. The Mexicans and the Saudis are currently fighting...