Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

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There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...

May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement

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March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Egghead CJ de Mooi chose that name! On purpose!

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CJ de Mooi shocked the nation today by revealing that CJ de Mooi isn't his real name. Believe it or not he chose that name!...

Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award

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Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

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Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

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Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Forcados

Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull

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A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...
David Cameron

People in Shock as Cameron steps down as MP because nobody knew he was...

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Ex Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced he will quit his role as an MP, which has surprised almost everybody as we'd all...

Vegan banned from Vegetarian Club when she says quinoa “tastes like chicken”

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Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day. Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

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Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...

Apple to move to Battersea iStation

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Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Hungry

Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old

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In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I...

Anonymous declare war on ISIS for 4657th time.

The group Anonymous have today declared war on ISIS for the 4657th time. A spokesman for the group said, "ISIS should prepare for a fate...
Dress Down Friday

Rochdale boss dresses down staff after casual Friday turns Nazi

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The age old question of trying to persuade employees to continue to care about work on a Friday has vexed employers for decades. A...

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