Media

In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth. Employees of the Ministry of Truth (known within the Social Media...

Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Katie gloated as she explained her discovery. "I can't say too much at...

The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.  No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed by security services to contain nothing but 16p and a sweet...

Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it. Today at the cenotaph there were glorious scenes, Michael Gove danced the Macarena round...

The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...

John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black family that buys a trampoline which immediately gets shat on...

Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy. "How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's literally nowhere to go? I've got a mortgage and kids...

Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions when stocking tomorrow's Daily Mail and Daily Express.  With today's ruling...

Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.

Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone calls in contravention of the Communications Act 2003.   Mr McNood,...

The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in the Rochdale area, to mixed responses this afternoon. "People simply aren't...

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...

To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour Leadership challenge. "There's no reason to think that the previous partner...

Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House head office this morning. The tragedy occurred when The Daily Mail's...

Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times are down with this Crime sound," said one writer, "and...