Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...
George RR Martin

George RR Martin ‘very excited’ to find out what happens in next season of...

The award winning author and Terry Pratchet impersonator George RR Martin has revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he is very excited to find...
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

12
Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Doctor Who

Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis

0
Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

4
A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

0
Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...
Tardis

Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who

In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...

Enemy of the people: Fury as flamboyant FAKE judge overhead saying he voted ‘remain’

0
'Judge' Rinder, or Mr. Rinder, to use his actual LEGAL title has angered Brexiters after he was overhead saying that he was a 'remainer'...

Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.

0
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Pretentious Man

Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female

0
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

5
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand

0
Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it. A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

0
BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

0
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot

The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Jeremy Clarkson

Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia

A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.

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