Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

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Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people...
Ant and Dec

Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec

Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

7
“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...

Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

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After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

12
Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Telly Tubbies

Tinky Winky to return half of salary after identifying as a woman

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BBC bosses have demanded that Teletubbies star Tinky Winky hand back half the wages ever paid over the course of the show after she...

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms

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Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of...

Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...

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A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer. The vote...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

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Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...

Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant

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George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council...

Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...

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