Paul Hollywood slammed for attending birthday party dressed as Nigel Farage

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Great British Bake Off star Paul Hollywood has apologised after being pictured dressed as Nigel Farage at a fancy dress party. The 51-year-old said the...

Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream

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After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Telly Tubbies

Tinky Winky to return half of salary after identifying as a woman

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BBC bosses have demanded that Teletubbies star Tinky Winky hand back half the wages ever paid over the course of the show after she...

Rochdale man’s Bake Off doomed to defeat

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Rochdale man Tom Gilliford is set cook up a storm as he stars in Bake Off 2016 on BBC One. Tom was born and grew...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

Sheikh & Bake! Al Jazeera Swoop For Mary Berry, Mel & Sue

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In a dramatic twist in the GBBO story reports this morning say that founding members of the cast have signed contracts for a new...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Johnny Love Island

Love Island Johnny reveals ‘I have the clap’ as bosses rebrand hit show ‘Syphilis...

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Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony. The revelations came...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

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Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...

Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead

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Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong...

Meat Loaf isn’t dead

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Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...

Britain First Dates

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After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding...

Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017

It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...

?Miranda Hart falls over for the last time

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During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed. "It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who...

Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

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Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my life there...

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