Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec
Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them
A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them.
Trevor Sallis, an office...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice
Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
‘Here’s to you Tommy Robinson’ fundraising song campaigns for his release from Twitter jail
With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel
But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face
And here's to you Tommy...
Gary Barlow wins 2017 Nobel Lit Prize
In news from the future today, we have learned that Gary 'Tory Tax Breaks' Barlow is/will be the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience.
"Standing ankle deep in...
Nigella returns with a series on how to wank vegetables
After a 5 year absence from our screens while laying into toot, Nigella Lawson returns to our screens this week with a series dedicated...
Britain First Dates
After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
BBC in new accusations of bias
Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Corbyn criticised over links to NWA
Controversial Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been heavily criticised for his links to rap group NWA. A picture of Jeremy "terrorists are my mates" Corbyn sipping gin and juice with rapper Easy E has been largely shared across social media.
