Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun

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The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.

Love Island’s Amber has a lovely personality, says man with sock on penis

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The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being 'a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of...

Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked

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After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got...
Pretentious Man

Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female

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In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

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Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”

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The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A...

Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino

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The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...

Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles

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Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point. Departure, a new...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

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Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...

This weeks Soap headlines

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The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss! Emmerdale Farm It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
Lucy Worsley

Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley

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Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley". The new...

Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

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US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...

BBC News “Medal Rush” Satire Wins Best Joke Award At Edinburgh 

In a break from tradition the funniest joke award at ths years Edinburgh Festival has been awarded to BBC News.  "Normally we just look for...

Sex slurs cooking at Great British Bake-off

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Channel four’s blue-eyed baker boy Paul Hollywood is reportedly reviewing his role on the hugely popular Great British Bake-Off because of the ever-widening scourge...

JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...

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JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.

Murder she wrote woman not dead

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Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced. "Appearing as...

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