Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Bloke who knocked Ed Sheeran off bike given MBE for services to music industry
The man who ran over Ed Sheeran and broke his arm will receive an MBE in the new year’s honours list, it has been...
Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
?Miranda Hart falls over for the last time
During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed.
"It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who...
Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand
Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it.
A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....
Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown
Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown.
An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...
Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent
The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win.
Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017
Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned.
This year has seen, in very...
Gary Barlow wins 2017 Nobel Lit Prize
In news from the future today, we have learned that Gary 'Tory Tax Breaks' Barlow is/will be the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize...
Rochdale man’s Bake Off doomed to defeat
Rochdale man Tom Gilliford is set cook up a storm as he stars in Bake Off 2016 on BBC One.
Tom was born and grew...
Cliff Richard still not a nonce confirms BBC
Singer, God-botherer and long term bachelor for no particular reason is still not suspected of fiddling with young men, according to a BBC report.
The...
Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
‘Wiccan Masterchef’ and ‘The Sharifs Are Coming’ to head BBC’s new cultural diversity programming
Bosses at the BBC are poised to announce a list of new TV shows to better reflect the religious views of it's viewers.
As...
Star Wars fan admits films a bit shit really
Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest."...
Tom Hiddleston does a runner.
Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...
