Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble...

Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice

Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

28
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...

70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles

0
Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...

I’m not homophobic, you’re just a filthy sinner! says singer

It's alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it's based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

7
“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

0
The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...

Tom Hiddleston does a runner.

0
Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...

EMINEM IN $24m AUCTION MIX UP

World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident! Marshall...

Mime artist finds way out of glass box

0
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box. There was...
ALBERT

V&A apologises for asking man who whipped his Albert out to cover up

0
The Victoria and Albert Museum has apologised after a man said he was asked to "cover up" while whipping his cock out for a...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

0
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

0
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

6
Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

0
The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...

‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging

0
Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...

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