Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

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Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...

Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid

Viewers of one of Channel 5's only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

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Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...

Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”

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Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay. Bert had...
Remote pointing at TV

Trump TV

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Trump Television – Live from the Whitehouse 4.00 pm Wake Up Oceania – or face the consequences. We know who you are and where you...
Bono

Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice

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It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why. U2 played Berlin last night and...
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

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Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms

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Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake

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Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins. Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny

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The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny. Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

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