Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage
In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017
Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned.
This year has seen, in very...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam
Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
Oscars turmoil as Trump mistakenly awarded prize as “President of La La land”
The 90th annual academy award "Oscars" ceremony was thrown into turmoil when Donald Trump was mistakenly awarded the best actor prize for his role...
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.
Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...
Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith.
The toe faced smarm slinger...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Pokémon GOne!
Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone.
Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely...
Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
