Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

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An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

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There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

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“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS

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Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment. "The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...

Rochdale Herald exclusive – Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice’s wedding

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In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week. 7am - Woken up by...

Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.

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Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
Philip

Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running

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The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday. An insider told us, "She...

Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...

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Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving

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The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...

Meghan Markle proves she’s mastered waving

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Meghan Markle revealed that she's perfected the art of waving to thousands of people. The Duchess of Sussex was appearing at the Trooping of the...

Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers. Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...

Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle

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The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...

Joy as Palace confirms  Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding

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Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

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Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...

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