New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.

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Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
Kate and William

New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL

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Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...

King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony

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Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

16
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”
Philip

Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running

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The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday. An insider told us, "She...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Prince Andrew to release sex tape

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Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...

Let’s get this over with Says Queen

5
Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot". Her worshipfulness...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle

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The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...

Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents

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Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

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Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...

Nurses and Firemen organise whip-round to help pensioner do up her house

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Well off government workers including nurses, firemen and the police are banding together to help impoverished pensioner, Liz, 91, from Windsor. 'We heard about the...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

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Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...

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