Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...

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Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...

Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger

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Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
Meghan and Harry

Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May

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People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

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Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

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“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers. Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...

Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike

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Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada. His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

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Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.

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Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

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There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

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An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh...

Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie

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By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...

King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony

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Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...

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