Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

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Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

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Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

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“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger

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Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...

Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam

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The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months

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Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...
Meghan and Harry

Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors

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As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

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Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

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Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.
Royal Family

United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four

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It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today. We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

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A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...

Sam Allardyce to step in as caretaker princess for rest of season

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Following the news that Harry and Meghan were to take a "step back" from Royal duties, Buckingham Palace made a swift move and have...

Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS

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Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment. "The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...

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