Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA.
During the announcement...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...
Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...
Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Rochdale Herald exclusive – Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice’s wedding
In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week.
7am - Woken up by...
Bra fitters feel a right pair of tits after revealing the size of the...
Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details...
Deer left shaken by run in with Prince
A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne.
Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...
Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Anglo US relations at lowest ebb since war of 1812 as Queen joins anti-trump...
Anglo US relations have reached their lowest ebb since 1812 when British Force burned down the White House after members of the Royal Family...
Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus
Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit
Joy as Palace confirms Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding
Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...
