Prince Andrew to release sex tape
Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison.
Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism
Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...
Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four
It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.
We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie
By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...
Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration
"Oh...
Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed.
Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
