Local News

A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed. The news follows reports of a man in Rochdale who refers to...

The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm closes its doors for good. "Rochdale Pots & Plates" has been...

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him. Mr Thomas has been working for his current agency, Imcomp & Tense, on a...

A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the firm their much sought after "Services to innovative bastardry" award...

A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas "party". Stan Still, who works for a civil engineering company told...

A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board, who has been to church twice in 30 years told...

In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a spokestabby told the Herald. “The very thought is just distasteful,” he...

Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were a nuclear missile launch site throughout the 70's and 80's,...

In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given up beer and bacon and joined his local Sweatytynes to...

Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg." Max explained. "It had become excruciating. One day someone was going...

Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn early in life.  English summers are greyer than England football...

The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant. Eric Dingle, confirmed that the school will be put under special...

As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line of healthy trees used for Christmas fundraising, Sheffield police Assistant...

It was the night before Christmas. Newsthump had run an article claiming that if the surplus Remainers from Islington were resident in Rochdale on the 25th of December they would automatically be on the...

A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby of Middleton was turned away from a walk in clinic...