Local News

Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons. Many parents believe that forcing their children to learn the value of numbers derived far in the...

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical hack-in-chief of Rochdale’s only quality satirical organ had very recently...

Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the exact symptoms of sunstroke, the search engine has given up...

A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and thought he had best ask which colour she would prefer. Speaking...

The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in the Rochdale area, to mixed responses this afternoon. "People simply aren't...

It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could go ahead as early as this week. The plan will see...

Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception of the NHS. The proposal will see the busy hospital...

German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where...

A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming, has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that originally bought it. The bottle has been gifted an estimated 12...

The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army chiefs were dismayed to discover the source of the problem...

The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said, "Poppy day is my favourite day of the year. I...

It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens Rochdale. Today saw the unveiling of Simon Danczuk's crowning achievement. A...

At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a report anti social behaviour. Reports since indicate that fighting had broken...

A Rochdale woman was said to be in a stable condition after being rushed to Rochdale Infirmary this morning. An ambulance was called to the Cheetham Street home of 22-year-old Emily Sandle by the...

As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line of healthy trees used for Christmas fundraising, Sheffield police Assistant...

Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with two women holding hands. How am I supposed to know...