A Rochdale family has had to cancel Christmas this year after Grandma admitted that she had forgotten to start cooking the sprouts in November.

Pamela Dickinson from Heyworth made the revelation during a family day out to Aldi on Saturday afternoon.

Sprout fan and former son Steve Dickinson said: “Mum told us all that she had completely forgotten to put the sprouts on before the 15th of November.”

“Even if she had remembered to put them on to boil on the 15th of November that would have given them barely six weeks to cook.”

“We can’t have Christmas without Christmas lunch and we can’t have Christmas lunch with raw sprouts. That would be unhygienic. As a family we’ve just decided to call the whole thing off.”

“I’ve no idea how Mum could have forgotten to put the sprouts on to boil, everybody knows they go on the hob the same day as the turkey goes in the oven.”

“She’s either thoughtless or she needs a scan. Either way she’s going in a home after this.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.