Local News

As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of endless downpours, and one of the wettest winters on record,...

Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.  The liquid shot called USSeR is 90% Russian weightlifter's urine and 10% Red Bull,...

Thae Yong Ho, a North Korean diplomat, is widely reported to have defected from the People's Totally Free And Lovely Free People's Free Democratic Free Republic of Free North Korea after experiencing Rochdale town...

32 year old office worker Damian Green from Middleton has admitted using snapchat in a desperate attempt to look "cool" and "down with the kids". It will come as a shock to many who thought...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation that people like Linda Blanston (name changed to protect her...

Local man Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) put his back out this morning in the gym whilst trying to get fit for a beach holiday in September. "It's been going alright, except for the...

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for...

Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved Rochdale as "essentially a giant neanderthal public toilet block," where...

The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails digging up any road that leads to Rochdale and routing...

A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson  Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a book while being brown. Faizah Shaheen, who helps prevent teenage mental...

In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all a bit of a fib, perhaps made up by Mr...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the early hours of the morning after the unnamed MP allegedly...

The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a perspex surround, much like an ice hockey rink, a licensed...

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently in chaos after three people that nobody has ever heard...