International News

International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist and professional right wing bigot, Katy Hopkins to be burned...

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the wall of the White House habitation wing carrying a rucksack. Amongst...

Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive foreign sock puppets. The new listing makes it illegal for residents...

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged in his favourite pastime of debating politics on social media...

Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House. The footage, captured in a storage room adjoining the Oval Office, appears to show...

In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to be planned for a field in Staffordshire, will include the...

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...

Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea. Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has personally arranged the trip, most likely by accident. Mr....

Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at the Oscars last night. The award, given for Nuttall's provocative portrayal...

The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a spokesman for the Agency confirmed to the Rochdale Herald Monday. The...

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was expected to only affect libtard and snowflake university students, and make...

Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker race’ with market leaders Russia. “Russian prostitutes have been, in my...

In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration. Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained, "The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...

President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived ‘pre-exploded, all in bits’. The billionaire had ordered the ‘top of...