International News

Donald Trump has started a Twitter row with Kim Jong Un over the size of their missiles. Kim had yesterday claimed he possesses a missile so big it can reach all the way to America....

Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as President of The United States of America, The Rochdale Herald...

It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate the sacrifice made by thousands of colonial rebels, so that...

As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit, where it is acceptable to proclaim "Brexit means Brexit" and...

10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish. The order has been issued from the executive to coincide with the UK's...

The Ukrainian town of Chernobyl has rejected a proposal to twin with Rochdale, a spokesman for Rochdale council confirmed to the Herald. The town shot to fame in the mid 1980s when still located...

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits to Middle-Eastern countries to learn new methods  to prevent reoffending,...

The world is not going to hell in a handcart, it's going in a speeding fucking Formula 1 Ferrari, according to Bésemecula Adiós, professor of political philosophy at Rochdale University.  According to Professor Adios, The...

Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course clubhouses, The Rochdale Herald can reveal exclusively that his Playboy...

The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her own kitchen. Mlle. Fromage-Burger, who is renowned for appearing on the...

The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure. DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways  said "This is orr moment in history, so it is. We now have the parrr...

This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.   This, apparently, includes Russia's own military aircraft. General Yuri Bigbangskivich, spokesman for the...

A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for think tank GovBalls has found that 90% of tenants would...

Unusual moment of unity sweeps province. “Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the mainland, yous have no idea. Only when one lot sends...

Emmanuel Macron has a well deserved reputation as a man who knows what an older lady likes. Now it seems he's out to shag Brexit by wooing Theresa May. May has a reputation for being colder...

The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic Unionist Party to help form a strong and stable government. The...