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We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The phrase, which initially gained popularity following the Brexit vote in...

The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu PF. Failing that, he could be Conservative Party leader. One aide,...

Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa didn't get his CRB check in in time. He submitted...

A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's "The Stig." The aim of the trial is to make both...

The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.  Responding to reports of an incident in Douma in which dozens of people are reported to...

In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with the armoured extraction convoy, the 48 bus, by three hours. The...

A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan Still's Halloween party on Saturday night dressed in a cycling...

Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves from Manchester United, a once formidable team, who managed to...

Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and he is in fact the opposition. Mr Corbyn appeared after definitely...

After the snap, crackle and pop election called by Theresa May has resulted in a hung parliament, it's clear that the repercussions reach further than the political world. So far indeed that the UK...

The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being politely asked questions about his job during an interview on Radio...

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible old men for money. "Melania has definitely never had sex with...

The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil baron JR Ewing more than 37 years after the incident. The...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...