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?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have described a huge steam explosion in Westminster that authorities have...

A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John Lewis Partnership flagship Rochdale department store. Barry McIntlock of Milnrow, a...

In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is always right and that his wee wee smells of Rainbows. "Jeremy...

A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space. Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on the back of a rocket Elon Musk sent into space...

There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many months of negotiations between Downing Street and Marston's Brewery collapsed...

Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in the state own no books. The book bonfire was to be...

Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is indeed flat. Prof. Cox dropped the bombshell on the scientific world...

Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield was last seen descending the escalator at Ashton-Under-Lyne Ikea a...

There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by a 'slutty Anjem Choudary' costume for the first time. The figures, released...

In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist activities. It is believed that police were alerted at around 8am...

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in 2010 as a “goodwill ambassador” to tackle animal welfare worldwide. World...

We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First have slammed Foreigner for it being Cold as Ice. This Foreigner...

Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on the top deck of a bus because somebody has been...

Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient tradition of foxhunting, known among the poor and common as...

A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan Rouhani, the President of Iran, has spoken to The Rochdale...