Politics

“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.

In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel they have become alienated by her government. It is reported that...

The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some impact on British politics. The announcement was made by three masked...

Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a crumpled rain mac and deerstalker hat made the allegations to...

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit. It's believed that by putting a...

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously short." He justified his call by stating that "What's the matter...

The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in April 2019. The banknote will be nicknamed ‘lost and found’ and...

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things explained by local financial whizzkid, Imran Stockdale: "Currently your savings accrue...

Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in parliament sacking anyone who opposes the government. He has also...

A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves for the imminent Party Conference Season. An Amazon source confirmed...

The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of Christmas lighting this year.  The energy companies are concerned that with...

Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have decided to re-nationalise British Rail. The decision came after Corbyn was...

A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry last night while being at a table full of other...

The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on my own.” The statement, and the at times quavering voice it...

Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent past. "She has not learned the lessons of the recent past"...