Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA on the recent Russian hacking and election tampering.
RH: Good afternoon....
Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency
After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency.
Speaking to disappointed and angry Corbynistas, we got the following statements:
"At first I thought...
Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...
Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency.
It is believed the most successful man ever to inherit a small business from his father is fed up...
Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today.
As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches will be removed to be replaced by pop up kitchens,...
Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s
Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal".
All the CV's are from career civil servants, professional trade lobbyists and...
Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...
The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be resurrected on Halloween night this year to put the caring...
Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge
In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;
"Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to campaign again for that outcome, for a stronger Labour party...
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the Rochdale Herald.
Following a heated meeting on Sunday at Mad O'Rourke's...
I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger
What’s your favourite type of monger?
Picture him:
Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen one of its talons. Spat. Spat. Spat. The dead children...
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy or common-sense
The bombshell comes after Ms Abbot today claimed that...
Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country
Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly qualify as jobs.
In remarks that may stir new consternation abroad,...
Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said
"She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least you know where you stand with Theresa May. I can't...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections.
“I have suffered...
Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent past.
"She has not learned the lessons of the recent past"...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on Twitter this morning.
Sir Cable, who wasn't suspended from his party...
