The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks – Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and the tragedy at the Grenfell tower block.

Nevertheless, the Herald has exclusively obtained her answers to a series of penetrating questions designed to reveal the true Theresa May.

What kind of music do you listen to when you have free time?

There are many types of music, and many different musical instruments.  Mr Johnson suggested at a cabinet meeting that perhaps I should try the Hammond organ and everyone laughed, although I’m not sure why.

Mr Cameron had a favourite football club. Do you have a favourite sport?

I used to enjoy a jolly game of hockey at school but unfortunately, my team let me down on many occasions.  Miss Rudd asked whether I was ever told to ‘bully off’ and I said that, as captain, I was told many times. Mr Gove said that he wasn’t surprised and everyone laughed to show their support for me.

What books do you like to read in your spare time?

There are many books of different styles. Mr Hunt has given me a biography of a predecessor of mine called Spencer Perceval.  He assures me it has a happy ending.  I told the cabinet that Mr Corbyn’s manifesto was a great piece of fiction and they were stunned into silence by my witty comment!

What is your favourite colour?

There are many different colours, and I expect you think I will say blue!  Orange is nice, but I like all colours of the rainbow, representing as they do the LBWG&T [NB sub ed: check before publishing] community.

Do you and your husband find the opportunity to eat out these days?

Unfortunately only on formal occasions nowadays.  In the neighboring constituency, which Mr Johnson represents, there is a wonderful restaurant.  He often suggests that when I’m feeling a little empty, the French Horn will soon fill me up!

And finally, Prime Minister, why did your parents choose the name Theresa for you?

I was born a girl. Not all children are girls and there are girls’ names, and there are boys’ names.

Thank you, Prime Minister.


Baz Cordouroy is an imaginary friend of a cat called Tibbles. He likes nothing more than rolling on his back and having his tummy tickled. Tibbles however likes listening to Schoenberg and watching the films of Jean Renoir.