Politics

The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob Rees-Mogg said the following, "The country is over populated and the...

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is ready for the challenge of leading humanity to salvation. Speaking to...

The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is "absolutely not a factor" in her decision to circumvent the...

Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle ticket in the next week. The surprising decree has been issued...

Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap general election. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He told the assembled press pack,...

Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible outings as a politician of um, importance, to offer the...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before she was supposed to at 11:00am, pissing everyone right off. Surrounded...

Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We at the Labour party are celebrating this news; half of...

Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised the two events are not connected.  "I will be the last...

Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. "Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are up," a bloke we know is said to have overheard...

As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called to the stand and indicted himself, for incitement. In the federal...

  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a ride up the Mall in the golden state coach with...

Britain First members were baffled this week when asked the unintentional riddle: “If Britain's first, what’s second?” The question came from Billy Michaels, a seven year old from Rochdale, who politely approached the group during...

In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP voting mother in law. All mother in laws will be tested...

Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to kill children are high explosives and white phosphorus. “We’ve been happily...

Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party said; "It's been clear for a while that we have some...